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Archive for #profoundlove

3 Keys for Healthy Relationships

Unless you are a hermit living in a cave and growing your own food, you need to interact with other people. Stressful relationships top the chart of my clients’ reasons to see me for stress management. “Hell is other people!” declared French playwright Jean-Paul Sartre. And, sometimes you might agree, and wonder why the hell this person Is trying to make your life miserable. Usually, though, conflict with another person is not so intense – just low key annoyance. He says something that triggers your anger. You say something that he interprets as criticism.

How do you break the cycle of negativity between people? Because at our core, we are social beings woven together in Divine Love. We thrive on respectful, loving, courageously kind interactions with others.

Here are three keys to building healthy, loving relationships:

1) Self-love. At Unity North Spiritual Center, we sing a song, “I love myself so much, that I can love you so much, that you can love you so much, that you can start loving me.” Be your own best friend and treat yourself with loving kindness. Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t want a friend to say to you. The energetic vibration you send out comes back to you. When you feel more love for yourself, you will get more love back.

2) Listen. Listen deeply to the other person. What are they really trying to say underneath their crunchy exterior? Marshall Rosenberg, founder of the Compassionate Communication Model, asks What is the unmet need? Are they really expressing hurt feelings? Or fear of abandonment? Or sadness from an unresolved past wound? Can you find compassion in your heart to hear what the other person is really saying which he lacks the skills to communicate? Raise the vibration of the conversation through your deep listening with the ears of love.

3) Creativity. Imagine that there might be another solution outside the box of your frustration. Open your awareness to the possibility that there might be a third option, a better solution, or an easier path. Keeping an open heart and mind opens the doorway for creative solutions. A new awareness and understanding might be right around the corner which will create a bridge to better communication.

Certainly, some relationship stress requires intervention or therapy to come to resolution. However, most stressful situations between people can be improved through applying three keys: be kind to yourself, listen with the ears of love, and allow your inner creative wisdom to show you a better solution.

In my spiritual healing practice, I focus on helping change-makers manage stressful relationships so they can expand their impact in the world. I offer Intentional Energy Healing sessions to raise the energetic vibration of the relationship so everyone can thrive. If you would like assistance to heal a relationship drama with a loved one, I can help. Let’s set up a time to chat. Email me at leah.skurdal@gmail.com

BIG LOVE

What the world needs now is BIG LOVE! Bigger than fear. Bigger than self-doubt. Bigger than your excuses. Not the fluffy Bunny Peep love of Hallmark cards or the casual, “love you” greeting. What we need now is deep, profound I-will-do-what-it-takes love. I know what that kind of profound love feels like. So do Marlene and Bill.

Marlene and Bill, a retired couple in their 80s, live in the land of ice and snow in Northern Minnesota. When Bill was diagnosed with prostate cancer, doctors prescribed 39 radiation treatments – which required driving an hour to the town of Brainerd, five days a week, from Thanksgiving through the New Year. Aside from the courage it takes to survive 39 radiation treatments, (no small feat) getting to the appointments during a Minnesota winter took a different kind of grit, courage and profound love.

The winter of 2014 Up North, as we Minnesotans say, included record snowfalls and thirty degree below zero temperatures day after day. Marlene took the wheel. “You’re not dying on my watch!” she told Bill. Which means: Die if you must because it is your time to go. But you are NOT dying because I did not do MY 100%.

Marlene drove Bill to and from the hospital, two hours a day, leaving the house by 7am, five days a week through harsh winter driving conditions. Some people commute an hour to work but not usually at Marlene’s age of 82 years old.

Marlene drove 4500 miles that winter. Half of the time, the roads were not plowed. Marlene would position her four-wheel drive SUV behind an 18-wheeler and plow on through the snow drifts covering the road. On some days, it was only Marlene, Bill and the truckers who were committed enough to venture the journey to Brainerd.

One day, as they left home on a snowy day in sub-zero temperatures, Marlene and Bill said to each other, “we have nothing to complain about. We’ve had a good life.”

They drove in silence. Marlene prayed the rosary for an hour straight twice a day – which she credits as the reason they arrived safely every day. After the 39 treatments ended, Bill’s cancer went into remission. Spring finally arrived and Bill went back to gardening and feeding the wildlife.

That’s what it took: grit, Minnesota heartiness born of determination, prayer, and BIG LOVE. That’s what 50+ years of marriage will do for you.

We could use some of that BIG LOVE these days. The BIG LOVE required to teach kids and adults compassionate communication skills so they learn to get along with each other. The BIG LOVE required to find or create an educational system where your kid can thrive. The BIG LOVE required to build a loving home environment where each of the family members feels loved and appreciated for their unique talents.

In my work, Intentional Energy Healing, I play all out for my clients. We set an energetic intention to create or to heal something in their life. One client got her estranged daughter back in her life. Current client intentions include completing a marathon, healing family relationships, and experiencing more daily joy.

What are you committed to in your life? For what are you willing to DO WHAT IT TAKES?

Post comments below. Message me if you would like support to create a life you love.